One of the good ones 🎼

A love me like he should one
Like he wrote the book one
The kind you find when you don’t even look one
Anybody can be good once
But he’s good all the time
He’s one of the good ones
And he’s all mine
You’ll know him when you see him
By the way he looks at me
You’d say he hung the moon
I’d say he hung the galaxy
Nobody does it better
Oh, the way he pulls me in
I’ve known a couple bad ones
But they all led me to him

I’ve heard it said many times that you shouldn’t go looking for a relationship, or love for that matter. Loving and being loved is such a basic human need that people like myself seek it out in every single thing they do. I suppose that’s part of the problem. When you feel like you are deprived of anything, especially love, you tend to settle for a little glimmer of it masked as what you truly need. If you’re dying of thirst, what you need is water. But you’ll settle for a soda knowing that sugary drink isn’t going to quench your thirst. It tastes good for the moment, but you know ultimately it’s going to leave you feeling sick and you’ll still end up thirsty. Seeking out love is no different.

That’s why about 6 months or so ago I decided I was just going to live my life with love being the last thing on my mind. I knew it was something that was always going to be there, but I made a conscious choice that it wasn’t going to be top priority. Months before that I had already deleted anything resembling a dating site or a way to meet men. Over the last 2 years, I had created an image in my mind of exactly what I was looking for and had no desire of settling for anything other than those particular qualities in a partner. I had even come to the realization that I may never find anyone who could live up to what I had written down on paper…literally. And I had finally made peace with it. Being short staffed at work helped with my decision too. Honestly, I didn’t feel like I had time to invest in cultivating a relationship anyway. I had no time to hang out with friends, so there was no way I had time for a man. My desire was to just have a male friend where we could go for dinner and drinks occasionally, but that was just something I would daydream about from time to time. Nothing I even put much thought into.

When the bars opened up in January of 2021, a friend of mine invited me to go to a bar with her and I did. There were probably 4 or 5 of us at a table talking and a guy walks in. I was already deep in bar conversation with some other guy so I didn’t pay it much attention other than the fact that he had the most incredible smile…I mean PERFECT. And now that I’m thinking back, where was his damn mask??🤔. Evidently his cousin was one of the guys at the table and he and I became friends on Facebook. A few weeks after, the guy with the great smile sent me a friend request. I knew immediately who he was and of course I added him. Over the next few months he had sent me a couple messages asking if my friend and I were out. I kept telling him no, because I’m always working and don’t go out like that anyway. Finally I gave him my number and eventually he text me. I invited him for sushi, or he invited me for sushi, or it was a date or it was not a date…all those details are different depending on who you ask. But that was September 7, and 4 months later I find myself in a whole relationship.

I feel like he is the answer to my prayers. I feel like by putting my trust in the Lord, and His timing, He revealed to me a person who meets every single one of the criteria on my list. If you know me, I can be pretty headstrong and difficult to get along with at times, but somehow we just ‘click’. I can’t explain it really. Are we perfect? No. Are we flawed? Absolutely. But there is something special about two people who want to learn things about the other, for understanding and not for leverage. And we have that. I am an alpha female to my core and he is able to lead me in the most loving and gentle ways. He has shown me a whole new perspective. I spent my life holding on to things and controlling everything because I was terrified of letting go and being vulnerable. Maybe I wasn’t necessarily terrified of being vulnerable so much as not trusting my partner enough to be vulnerable, but any way you spin it, I was miserable and in turn made my partner’s miserable. I feel like I can finally breathe now and know that someone has my back. I am getting over Covid and he has spent the last 10 days with me, taking care of me and making sure I was ok. Loving him is effortless.

I am thankful for finally trusting the Lord enough to stop searching for a sliver of love from a relationship that was always going to leave me empty and unfulfilled. I know that it was no accident for us to meet in the most innocent of ways and I am so thankful. I am thankful for someone to love, who is worthy of it and gives me love in the same ways. He is one of the good ones…A love me like he should one, like he wrote the book one, the kind you find when you don’t even look one, anybody can be good once, but he’s good all the time, he’s one of the good ones…And he’s ALL mine❤️