I knew at some point my ex would try to wiggle his way back in…they usually do. I guess the holidays have him all in his feelings and sentimental. But last night I hear the dreaded notification on my phone. I haven’t heard that sound consistently in almost a year, and NEVER when the sun is up. And the last time I heard it at all was in November. After that exchange of pleasantries, I decided that whatever we had was no longer my home and was done!
If you know anything about a woman, you know she will stop at nothing to try to breathe life into something that is dead, was dead, has been dead. I’m no different. But if you know that about a woman, you also know that eventually that switch is flipped and she is done! I mean done! When that switch is flipped, there’s usually no going back. At least, that’s always been the case for me, and my switch is flipped.
In a relationship, ideally, you bring out the best in each other and grow together. You dream together, set goals together, and then build together. If you have one person focusing on trying to be better and build and the other person remains content in the “now” then it’s never going to work. It can’t. Being loyal (aka stupid) I tend to see the good heart in a person and all logic flies out the window. Being a good hugger doesn’t get the rent paid. I need someone to hustle with me. He couldn’t hustle for himself to have a better life, so he sure wasn’t going to do it for me.
I did figure I would be more satisfied though in receiving the text that he wanted to talk. I really wasn’t moved at all. I told him so. I told him that I’m done…still. I figure if he really felt like talking he would say so at noon instead of 11-drunk-thirty. Some people can’t change (or won’t change) and sometimes it be like that. And I am good!!!!
I have struggled emotionally and financially this whole year to the point I was sleeping every moment I wasn’t at work. Most people don’t know that about me but I did. It’s like one minute he lived here with me and the next minute he didn’t. There was no discussion about it, there was no closure, it was just over. Strangest thing I’ve gone through relationship-wise for sure. And like an idiot, I waited for him to come back. For 9 months at least, it was like I had no concept of time. I expected him to walk back through the door and just pick up where we left off. Really odd. But sometimes the closure has to come from yourself and not someone else. And finally I’m on the other side of it.
My life is still good! I have gone through one major holiday alone and it didn’t kill me. If I can get through Christmas, my birthday, and New Years avoiding anything appearing like a relationship, then I know I can do anything. Wish me luck❤️
Single Sarcastic Superhero 