I hate the whole dating world. Everything it is terrifies me and makes me sick to my stomach at the same time. I kind of want to bypass the whole dating phase and jump straight into being married for 20 years. Which I suppose is how I got here in the first place. Having said that, I met someone. Is he the end all, be all? Who knows, BUT he was nice and it wasn’t nearly as awkward as I anticipated. I do have to resist the urge to cut things short, so I can put on my pajamas, watch Netflix and order UberEats. Luckily, that wasn’t my choice this time. There was a game on, which I couldn’t get since I’m too poor for cable, and he went home to watch it. Am I impressed that he didn’t try anything or irritated that he was more interested in the game than me? Not too sure. Quite possibly a little of both. But if all he says is true, I think I might have met the male version of myself. At this point the vetting process is quite comical. I think I’m pretty outspoken and easy to read so I imagine they are like Ms. Cleo trying to figure out how to respond by reading my facial expressions and body language. I just take everything at face value and keep it rolling.
I always feel so silly doing this at this age. Most of my friends have been married for 10 plus years, most have kids and some even have grandkids, and I’m over here like “I met someone.” Jesus, take the wheel. 🤦🏻♀️
One of my coworkers, who is actually a good friend of mine tells me that I need to go out with all of them and talk to all of them. He tells me not to settle on one, to talk to all of them and just have fun. He’s also been married for over 20 years and has no clue how stressful this new dating world has become. I mean, I get his point about just having fun, enjoying your life and enjoying people, but it seems like if your attention is spread between multiple people, you aren’t giving your all to someone. But maybe I’m not supposed to give my all to someone; not now anyway. Perhaps that’s how I keep getting here…giving 100% to a person who isn’t worthy of 100%. I don’t want to have to remember details of conversations with multiple people. But, maybe I should take his advice, for a little while anyway. I do need something to occupy my time besides picking up extra shifts at work. I for sure need one thing…😁
My BFF tells me I go from 0-100, real quick. And I do. But I don’t really know how to be anything else. In life, I go from 0-100. I’m trying to slow down though. I enjoy my solitude to be completely honest and it’s going to take a special person to interrupt that; even in a positive way. I’m leery of someone who wants to just come to my house too. I feel like I’m good enough to be seen with in public. I know we’re in the middle of a pandemic but there are things we can do that are outside of the house and not around people. Hopefully he figures that out.
At least my mind is occupied…
Single Sarcastic Superhero 